Dear god, please grant me a dick! I need it more than anybody else

I curse all the "men" today! sometimes it happenes that you feel defendless... there is nothing you can do, nobody is around to help, then you may disgust whatever makes you feel weak:namely the MALES!!! why should I be so small? what could I do? I couldn't even breath. I like to convince myself that it's not about me and he just reacted according to his nature and instinct, like an animal, but what have i done to my instinct?treaning!!!! damn it
I tried to ignore, i tried to forget, I even spent a very cool morning, as if nothing has ever happened but when faced him today, i forgot all my decisions, i burst to tears and it made me feel more helpless.... damn....why should i be so small? why couldn't I beat him to death?