Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Pardon the way that I stare.It's holding me and morphing me at the same time and forcing me to strive.I don't know when to talk, I don't know when to touch.I feel like a newborn, kicking and screeming, my emotional outlet is consuming the better part of me and you don't see me because I don't have much to say.I'm beautiful, that's for sure. I am lovely, but that's not for sure. I know how to hurt, I know how to kill,I know how to respect and certainly I do know how to love. I know what to show but I don't know how to conceal.Sometimes I feel misunderstood but I can't prove anything and I don't see any point in that, And sometimes I'm struggling to convince you that I'm right,but who really cares?I should stop it once. Should I dress in white and search the sea? As I always wished to be - one with the waves!I know it sounds stupid, childish and pathetic, but I wish tomorrow somebody else than me celebrates my life, and appreciates where I am and how I am.




Monday, February 27, 2006

ehteraame emaamzaadaro motevallish negah midaare




Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear and I cant help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before,it seems to have a vague haunting mass appeal

Lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel : Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive I'll choose water over wine and hold my own and drive


fek konam dishab vaqti daashtam mineveshtam yaa xeyli mast budam,yaa xeyli ehsaasaati....vali be har haal nemishe ketmaan kard ke behem xosh nagzashte bud


i can't....i don't know why, but i just can't stop crying... maybe i'm so drunk...i just hated it......one wild night out?....i don't think it's of my type, i don't think i'll go for that ever again! just girls out? ok... i felt like a bitch and i hated it..... in the taxi she said "let see who'll win" ... what?.... i said you don't want to compete with me ....oh my god.... i didn't know that i don't want to go through that game ... i just didn't know that i don't want it anymore.... i just hated it...so what?...obviously i can win..i've never lost this game, though, i will never ever go clubing anymore...and the worst thing happened when i was about to explode from too much attention (humiliation from now on!!! )... in the toilet, when i was crying and feeling miserable, when i was looking in the mirrore having a requiem for the remaining of my proud and dignity, that lady asked me if i wanted a man for tonight and thank god i didn't have a knife.... any weapon .... i could have killed her right there, she told me something nice and i just wanted to punch her on her face....why should i be there? for what? it's just lower that my dignity.... i hated it




Thursday, February 16, 2006

Finally I've got internet connection!!!!!!!!!!! wow! such a relief! from now on I can do my things here and I don't have to bother the rest of the world, by the way,The crowd waits and turns their faces towards you expectantly, you give them what they need but some of their useless criticism just make you die a bit more inside




Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.




Thursday, February 09, 2006

Entirely frivolous and intending to remain so
yet, I'm not anything less than what I'm defined by my responsibilities





Wednesday, February 08, 2006

vainglorious
even if it's just a lipstick advertisment



Here is your crown
And your seal and rings.Here is your cart,And your cardboard and piss;And here is your loveFor all of this.Here is your wine,And your drunken fall;And here is your love.Your love for it all.Here is your sickness.Your bed and your pan;And here is your loveFor the woman, the man.May everyone live,And may everyone die.Hello, my love,And, my love, Goodbye.And here is the night,The night has begun;And here is your death In the heart of your son.And here you are hurried,And here you are gone;And here is the love,That it’s all built upon.Here is your cross,Your nails and your hill;And here is your love,That lists where it will
....May everyone......





Tuesday, February 07, 2006

ببین و بگذر. بشنو وقضاوت نکن که تو در مقام قضاوت نیستی





Wednesday, February 01, 2006

montazereshun istaade budam ke biaan, kalaafe shode budam, nemidunam daasht shuxie uno javaab midaad yaa vaaqe'an nemifahmid owzaa az ce qaraare, motma'ennam ke mifahmid.... be har haal shaayd in behtarin raahe javaab daadan bud, unaa hamo behtar mishnaasan, istaade budam daashtam be in cizaa fek mikardam vaqti in ettefaaq oftaad, ba'desh goft ke musiqi mixune, phd, nemitunam begam zesht bud vali xoshgelam nabud, be har haal aslan shabihe mesri haa nabud. migoft ejraa daaran.... haalaa baayad hatman ye hamcin ture bolandi mipushid, unam tu in baad? ehsaas mikardam dandunam laq shode, dastaaye xunimo baa tuye jibam tamiz kardam vaqti umadan...hanuz dandunam dard mikone engaar



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